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Standing at the airport (holding three teddy bears) looking up into the sky said it all. 
*

It had been over five weeks since I had seen my family. My new little girl was now nearly seven weeks old. When she was born she had a lovely head of hair that I remembered looked like a coconut and smelled very ‘baby’ which I loved. I’d missed that. I used to have a bizarre habit of sticking my head in the ‘baby’ cupboard to smell the freshly laundered terry-towelling fabric-softened nappies and I’d missed that as well (weird as that sounds). I wondered if the cupboard would still smell the same and whether I would still do that.

*

I’d missed my little girl too; just before leaving UK we’d spent a lot of time together while Carol was in hospital. I’d missed taking her to the swing park, I’d missed reading her bedtime story, I’d missed talking to her about our new life in Gibraltar, I’d missed her smile. And yet I hoped she hadn’t missed me too much; I didn’t want her hurting because I wasn’t there. Now as I stood there at the airport looking up into the sky I so wanted her to be with me and know she felt alright; I wanted to hug her and see her smile.

*

Naturally I’d really missed Carol. We hadn’t been together that long but were very emotionally close and interdependent. Part of me knew our separation had been very difficult for her (and no picnic for me either); I had a desperate need to know about everything and put her mind at rest. But not today. Today was not a day for complex conversations; today was a day about joy.

*

As I looked up into the sky it was surreal to think my family was up there somewhere (at 35000 feet) flying at hundreds of miles an hour. When I think about that rationally I know flying is just a normal part of life but sometimes I’m not always rational. I wanted them down, safely down on the ground. At that a plane came into sight. 

*

As I watched the plane turn and descend my heart was in my mouth. None of my family had flown before and I knew the landing would be bumpy. As it descended and I saw the DanAir logo I knew it was their plane. Just as the wheels were about to touch the ground I shut my eyes tight and kept them shut until I heard the plane slow down and the engines ease. Finally I opened my eyes and felt my heart thumping with excitement. My family had arrived in Gibraltar just at the same time a tear rolled down my face.